Farewell to a Good Man

Yesterday was a very long day. We drove to Southern California (4 hours) and back for the funeral of Hubby’s former boss.

“Former boss” doesn’t really cover it. FB owned a small business that never had more than 9 employees, so everyone who worked there got to know each other really well. FB was also a friend and a genuinely good person, the likes of which I hope everyone has the chance to meet once in their lifetime. Hoping to meet more than one in a lifetime is a fool’s game.

The first time I ever met FB, Hubby had been on the job for six months, maybe, and at that time everyone in the company was working 60+ hour weeks to get the product to the customer on time and on budget. By an odd quirk of coincidence, I was also working 60+ hour weeks at the time (as a co-worker joked

, “It’s gonna be a great Christmas – if we live to see it!”), and it had been a month since I’d spent more than an evening with Hubby.

I had one Friday off – all day! What a luxury! – and told Hubby, “I’m coming to pick you up and we’re going to lunch because it’s been too long.”

So I got to Hubby’s office, and was waiting in the lobby for him when FB wandered in. I introduced myself, and he said something like, “I’m sorry for making [Hubby] work so much. It’s not usually like this.”

I laughed and told him it was okay, because I was working long hours, too – but that his first thought was for how I might feel because Hubby was away so much impressed the heck out of me.

FB was generous, too – almost to a fault. Whenever he went out to eat with anyone, he always paid, no matter who had done the inviting or what the occasion was. To this day, I think Hubby and I are the only ones to actually pay for a meal out with him, and that only happened because when I called the restaurant to make the reservation – it happened to be for FB’s birthday party; a milestone, though I don’t remember which one – I spoke to the manager and told him, “We’re coming in for FB’s birthday – party of XX. Now, FB’s going to try to pay – but it’s his birthday, so he’s not paying. Bring the check to me or Hubby, okay?”

Naturally, when FB arrived at the restaurant, he slipped the manager (who happened that night to be serving our party) his credit card and said, “I’m paying.”

When dinner was over, the manager brought me the check, and I gave him the credit card. He took it away to run the charge, and FB came around the table to me, and said, “The president’s paying for this!” (His joking reference to his company being a government subcontractor.)

To which I said, “No, he’s not. It’s your birthday, and we-” gesturing around the party “-are paying for your birthday, because we want to.”

FB grumbled, but I still paid. (Of course, everyone reimbursed for their share plus a portion of FB’s meal.)

Just a few years ago, FB was involved in a car accident in which he was T-boned and if either vehicle had been going only a slightly different speed, he would have been killed. He was lucky, though, and only got a few bumps and bruises.

It was the clearest case of liability I’ve ever seen – and I’m a legal secretary primarily defending car accidents and similar, so that’s saying something – and it would’ve been a slam dunk lawsuit victory for FB…but he refused to sue. He thought the other driver’s life had already been messed up enough as a result of the accident and he didn’t want to add to it.

Generous, as I said – and almost to a fault.

FB passed on December 14 last year, but thanks to the various governments’ over-reaction to COVID-19, it wasn’t until yesterday that the service could be held for him. I’m disappointed and saddened that Hubby and I were the only ones from his company to make the trip to bid him farewell, but I’m grateful that we did, and that Hubby offered a moving tribute to FB to send him on his way.

Rest in peace, FB – you are missed by us all.